My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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