Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
