it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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