i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
