on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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