i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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