hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
