why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Randomize