I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
please don't ironically join a cult
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