I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
