this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
