I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
