we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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