bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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