I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
