Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize