I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
