I am puke
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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