forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
