you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
