quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
