I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
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