Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
