he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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