No awkward lesbian experiences without me
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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