New low: just hacked my moms facebook
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize