I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Randomize
