I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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