just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
