He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize