Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I use my feet as sexual weapons
dude. I can hear the air.
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