Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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