ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
