in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
