Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
