so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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