holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
