In America we eat man semen.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Vodka?
Forever.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
