my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
