she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
