wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
