i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Girls should come with a carfax report
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
