I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize