were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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