worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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