There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
