It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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