Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
