he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize