You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I believe in your delicious
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
