I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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