i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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