no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
