My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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