And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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