im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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