We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
