You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
