you have to choose: penises or morals?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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