if i died would you start the facebook group?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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